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You are viewing the most recent 15 entries September 27th, 200901:42 pm: Manchester sucks
I don't honestly care if no one agrees with me. But Manchester is really suckish. It's children's hospital has only got one theatre in it. It got rid of two other great hospitals and now it only has one. I'm sorry but that's fucking ridiculous. There was no point in it. Pendlebury and Booths Hall were great. It's just stupid to have one theatre in a big children's hospital when children need theatre for simple things such as putting a broken bone back in place and sewing up a wound so it doesn't scar.
My little brother's only getting out of hospital today! He's been in there since thursday and all he needed was his nose sewn up and that was all. Whole reason he got moved there from Hope was so that we wouldn't be scarred for life. It's a bit impossible now. Fucking ridiculous!
Sorry. I just wanted to ramble :/Tags: stupid manchester
September 19th, 200901:45 pm: Blogging Moment
Well yeahhh, this is a blogging moment of mine. So much has happened since the end of year ten. It's unfrickingbelievable. My life has gone from great to ruins so many times this holiday. Maybe I should really explain it but oh well. I guess I should start at the end of year ten really coz thats when all the shit starting happening to me, ruining my life. And I mean seriously, this past summer i've hit rockbottom at least 5 times. It's been deverstating. I'm surprised I've not just died yet.
Well, it all started at the end of last school year really. Three amazing teachers left Wentworth. Godd, I miss Mrs.G! She was such a great teach, with her I understood maths. Without school isn't the same. Then I went to a mate's and i'm too lazy to go into that. Let's go to when I was ruined, kay?
My stupid fucking ex got arrested for stuff to do with children. And the police decided to contact me to get my statement about it. The day me, my lil brothers and my mum went to London. I was so fucking furious about it. They went to my house and everything. They even tried to force my mum to take us back to Manc. My parents, my grandparents, my aunt and my brothers all found out about my dirty secrets then. Yeah, thanks scottish police. Aren't you supposed to protect people? Well after that, my mum found out how old my boyfriend is. Yeahhhh, she went sick, but oh well. She didn't make me dump him so I'm ok. I mean, we'd only been together 2 months then and I was absolutely sure I would die if i was forced to dump him. I honestly couldn't live without him. Thennn, when we got back from London, my dad couldn't even look me in the face. Didn't help the day after we got back from London we were going away to wales for a week. My dad gave me a full on speech about I should have been honest, I'm just like my mum, they don't care about it and they love me etc etc. Give me a break.
After I got back after the holiday and I was like, yay I'm home, I had to give my statement to the police. It was also shit. I mean, I already knew Luke wasn't gonna leave me coz he'd told me so and I full on still believe he won't, but it was still shit. I hated it. It was the worst experience in my life. Me and my mum had a big emo fest afterwards in the car. Was very touching. If only it hadn't of happened to me.
Then later on in the hols, the final thursday of it whilst my brothers were at school, my first up point. I saw luke again. Hooray. Was good stuff. Then the weekend after that, my second up point. Seeing all my mates and drinking. Vicky's 16th party was fantriffic. I loved it. Everyone was pissed practically and ranting. Coz of that whole day, I actually made a better friend with Ryannnn. Who's AMAZINGGGGG. I love 'im. Sadly, he is actually gay so I stand no chance and I completely get whyyy. Well, anyways, drinky drinky then all the good gossip comes out. Hamish and Vic had kissed during the hols and Jess was none the wiser. I so nearly told her about the me and Hamish stuff. Thank god I didn't. Vic I mean. I wouldn't tell Jess. She'd kill me. Then back to school it was on Monday.
Basicly summary of the next few days:
Monday: Drinking. Admitted something to do with Ant coming on to me to Luke.
Tuesday: More drinking. All day, since 10:15AM. Admitted to Luke that me and ant did shit. He didn't know if he wanted to be with me anymore.
Wednesday: More drinking all day since early. Luke said he knew he wasn't gonna dump me but that I needed a punishment for my betrayal though Ant's was gonna be worse.
Thursday: Punishment decided. no drinking.
Yeahhh, so thats been my life. That bit all happened last week btw. Since then, me and Luke have been great. I've also had my rehearsal for Alice in Wonderland the musical at school. I'm a tree, the chesire cat and a dancing girl. Woo, clearly XD Well yeahhh. That's an update on my life really.
I guess in a way I should thank a few people for helping me out, emotionally:
Helen, Georgi, Becky, Holly, Katy, Vic, Vicky, Ryan, Charlie, Jess, Katy, Sadia and Alex. I love you lot. This is only people from school btw. Other than that, there's Brad, Luke, Joy, Cathy and Tom :) I love you lots too. All people mentioned are just amazing people. You all need a hug and a drink. I'm just too lazy to give them to you.
Tah-tah for now!
Angeloflight94Tags: appreciation, blog moment, update
July 2nd, 200901:14 pm: Summer Update
Wow, what a long time since I've blogged. A fair lot of things have happened. As usual, everything happens in a rush. The school year's nearly over for one thing. My form teacher, and practicaly my second mother, is retiring. I am going to miss her so so much. I love that woman. She's always helped me. She is the main reason I understand maths and everything. Ginty is a shit maths teach. Mrs Gordon was an amazing one. She's leavign in 11 school days. I will actually cry. I really love that woman. My fave histoff teach, kirkybaby, is also leaving. I haven't had him teaching me for a year but he is such a leg-end I will miss him too, he's also like my daddy.
Hehe. I'm in lurve. I'm in love with a man. an amazing man. Who's utterly beautiful and amazing and handsome and funny and creative and sarcastic and luxurous and amazing and sexy and loving and truthful and honest and immature. Luke <3 <3. Yes I know, I know. I go from guy to guy just about every month. But I utterly love luke. Everything about him. I love our little routines, our little skittle kisses, the little ways that if he says something which upsets me sort of he begs for my forgiveness and gets worried i'll leave him. I doubt i ever will. I love him too much. 1 month and 9 days. That's how long we've been together. Since May the 24th. I remember the exact date. Thats how much i love him.Tags: love rocks
March 23rd, 200901:35 pm: Jade Goody,27,Dies Early Hours Of Mothering Sunday
Jade Goody, mother of two, died in the early hours of this morning in her sleep. She died at 3:55AM as she slept at her home, with her mother (Jackiey Budden) and husband (Jack Tweed) at her side. Goody, aged 27, has raised cancer awareness throughout Britain as she went through her struggle to live. Her family hope for privacy to grieve the death, at least for today.
R.I.P. Jade Goody. And thank you for providing awareness of cervical cancer to others around.
by Angeloflight94Current Mood: RIP Jade .G. 12:36 am: To Sadia.
Yeah, I'm being a bit childish. Yes, I keep saying meh at you and not properly replying.
I know that you are trying to protect me from being hurt again, coz i am hurt quite a bit.
But you also know, he's been in my head for over a month now. You know guys don't last that long in my mind unless they mean something to me.
I know, you are trying to be my best mate, which you are. You know I actually value your opinion during times of crisis. But this time, I want to do this my way. Yeah, we could both get hurt because of this stupid thing. But he came back, Sadibear, that's got to mean something!!! When guys normally use me, they don't bother returning, but he returned. There must be something that made him come back.
If, in the end, he tells me he wants her completely, it won't matter. It's always the guy's choice. I won't stop anyone's freedom by stopping them having a choice. I can't tell him how I feel, not yet, and you know that if he likes me enough, he'd leave her for me. If not, unlucky me, but yet again i'm always in this situation. Both Helen and myself decided we are gonna tell his sister on monday. I am going to admit to her my feelings for him, just to be honest with another of my best mate's. Helen will be supporting me like she normally
Please, just please, let me do what i need to? You know either way, I'll get hurt in the end. Just let me do this my way. OK?
Angeloflight94
xCurrent Mood:  content Current Music: MGMT March 14th, 200909:12 pm: Confusing Dreams...
Wow, I've not updated for a while have I? Well, not much has happened since I last updated anyway. Well, some people from the list got attacked by a sick head named Shane who does drugs but as that does not concern me I realyl can't be bothered. Though I was rightly fucked off he was only put in the zone for it, as i think he should have been suspended. and Ami Barri deserves a slap for it, even though she didn't apparently mean for that to happen. She probably did. You don't tell an ex about how your boyfriend just dumped you whilst crying down the phone do you?? Poor Alex, Hamish and Phil for what they went to coz of that slag.
Anyways, recently, for like a week or two, i've been having these odd dreams. Involving the thing mentioned two/three blogs ago. I dreamt i was that girl who he's dating. It's odd, really. Coz i don't want to be her, or anything like her. But yet, in my dreams i am her. It's really bad. Then in the most recent dream (the one from last night) I was pregnant with his baby. Because we had a thing going on behind his girlfriend's back. and then it ended. I don't know what the hell was going on. If you are good at diagnoising dreams, diagnose mine?
Thanks.
Angeloflight94
xxCurrent Mood: complacent February 27th, 200908:05 pm: UPDATE!UPDATE!
Yeah, nothing's happened since the last blog. So let's update on worldly affairs:- Obama rocks (Because he just does)
- Jade Goody could possibly die alone. Oh dear. I don't really give a damn. What about the lives of real people who aren't like her who die alon daily? I mean, they live and die alone. Least she's married. What about all those old people who die alone as their children and partner died before them? Yeah i give a damn about THEM!
That is all i really have read about. I don't really read the newspapers anymore, the days go to fast for me. Oh, also it is FOURTY TWO days til i see Chris again. And we can't wait. We really can't.
Oh, also also I love Patrycja. She is a great girl and she rocks tons.
Note: The only reason for this update. I'm realyl bored. REALLY REALLY BORED.
If anything interesting worthwhile to write about, message me or something.
i love to write.
Love,
Angeloflight94
xxxxxxxCurrent Mood:  bored Current Music: metro station -- shake it February 14th, 200911:09 pm: 13 Year Old Father: The Sick Truth of Britain's Future.
Teen parents: The future of Britain.
Why though? Why do children want to become parents of more children?
I can't really talk about this subject as its hypocritical but still..
You're 13, why would you want a child?
When I was 13 all I wanted to do was read comics or books, play video games or melt over the thought of a celeb love.
I never wanted a kid.
So is this really the future of Britain? Teenage parents, 27 year old great grandparents?
I mean, I don't want THAT as a future.
words to British teens:
USE PROTECTION! YOU WON'T BE ABLE TO RAISE A KID YOURSELF!
The 13 year old father proves that himself.
Interviewer: "What are you going to do about money?"
13 year old father: "I don't know."
Don't reproduce yet. The taxpayers don't wanna raise your kiddy too!!!
Remember, Use Protection!
Love, AngelOfLight94
xxxCurrent Mood: stopping a bad future 4 brits Current Music: Hayden Panettiere , teen parents arent the future, warning to teens
February 2nd, 200908:28 pm: The Boyfriend/Girlfriend List
All boyfriends, girlfriends, crushes, kisses and just boys/girls i ever liked are on this list. There is more than 40, but i gave up beyond that coz at the age of 14 years, 9 months are 20-something days it sounds awfully slutty. So here the list begins.
1. Sean Harrison [crush, year 3, primary school] - Ex of ex-best mate Charlotte Ford.
2. Josiah [boyfriend, year 4, primary school] - Ex of Charlotte.
3. Ryan Hallwood [crush, year 4 5 and 6, primary school].
4. Adam [crush, year 7]
5. Josh W [crush, year 7]
6. Jess [crush, year 7 to year 9] - dating hamish, fancies charlie.
7. Kaidee [crush, yr 7]
8. Jake d [crush, yr 7]
9. Jed [crush, year 7]
10. Charlie [crush, year 8]
11. american ant [boyfriend, year 8]
12. jamie H [crush, year 8]
13. phil [crush, year 8]
14. carter [boyfriend, year 8]
15. ric [boyfriend, year 8]
16. brandon james [fiancee, year 8 - DECEASED]
17. alex neal [crush, year 9]
18. camerom [first....yeah lol, year 9]
19. terry [crush, year 9/ boyfriend, year 10]
20. sara [girlfriend, year 9]
21. alex [boyfriend, year 9 - DISAPPEARED]
22. matthew [boyfriend, year 9]
23. anan [flirt, year 9/ boyfriend year 9/10]
24. tom [boyfriend, year 9]
25. scottish panties [boyfriend, year 9]
26. brad [crush, year 9/10]
27. emily [flirt, year 9]
28. emma [flirt, year 9]
29. will [crush, year 9]
30. Mateusz [crush, year 10]
31. london ant [boyfriend, year 10]
32. Tsu [boyfriend, year 10]
33. Jas [flirt, year 10]
34. Jamie [flirt, year 10]
35. David [flirt, year 10]
36. Rhys [boyfriend, year 10]
37. John [boyfriend, year 10]
38. dan [fiancee, year 10]
39. kay [boyfriend, year 10]
40. jordan [i'm unsure, year 10]
NOTE TO READERS:
Not everyone marked as boyfriend or girlfriend are people i'm with now. It's just a list of all of my exes, and some i'm still with. End of. Enjoy.Current Mood:  creative Current Music: none January 29th, 200908:40 pm: My life Doth Suckth
My life does suck. It's like offical news. Everyone probably knows everything anyway. It's not like this blog is 100% private, coz Sadibear reads it to see how i'm doing. But i need a diary. I need privacy.
Brad doesn't want me. I decided that. What's the point in trying to get him anymore? I don't think there is one. so i'm just gonna give up on him. He's barely a friend anymore, and he used to be one of my best guy mates. I seem to be losing alot of mates lately. I've lost Jassiepants and Kayy coz they've "fallen in love". With pratt heads who like getting nude 250% of the time. Lost Jojo from being one of my bezzies, she's stopped telling me her secrets and everything. And i have a feeling i'm starting to lose others too. Am i that repulsive? Probable answer: Yes, yes i am.
I've not spoken to any of those so called boyfriends lately either. They seem to be ignoring me. I think the only person i've talk to lately who i have some form of sexual attraction to is Ric. Oh and Cameron, but i can't have Cameron, because when i said i wouldn't go out last night because it was cold he had a lil fit and said he won't see me for months then.
I am, though i've not yet asked permission but screw what my dad says, going to Gee Gee's at the weekend to drink my sorrows away whilst wishing Mateusz the polish boy will love me, as well as thinking of what to write on WD's valentine's card off DT. Probably, to my love katy, from your prince charming david, knowing the mood i'm in. I have Art tomorrow, so i will see Mateusz. I will be staring at the back of his head again whilst thinking of what to send him in a valentines' card. I will be admitting my feelings to him the day before. I hope he at least likes me a lil bit.
Well, that's it with my fucked up life at the moment. Skins is on tonight. Woo.
Night all.
Angeloflight94Current Mood: mehhh Current Music: none January 27th, 200907:38 pm: Update on that screwed up thing i call LIFE!
Well, here's an update. I dumped John, but we'll stay friends. That'll be easier was a bit too old for me relationship wise. And i'm not dumping Rhys, Daniel or Andrew. I can't. I won't allow myself to fuck up again, though i already have.
The Brad Situation...I decided though he thinks his feelings can change it means nothing. We are only friends. I don't want to be in a relationship with him. I don't wanna hurt him more than he's been hurt before. I don't want to be one of those people he hates. That would be murderous to me.
Mateusz, the polish guy from school. Now, i'm in a bit of a tickle pickle about that one. I do like him. I'm obsessed with him. As a member of the EEB Fanclub, i have to be honestly. He excites me, cheers me up, makes me down when he's not around (like today, nearly tearful) and gives me something to stare at in art. He is just what i want. Like how Hungarian Guy is what Gee Gee wants. Which is why he stalked him on the way home. And i waved at him, still upset that Mateusz wasn't in. I really was. So i had to wave at Hungarian Guy.
The Scottish Panties Disaster will now hopefully never happen. i talked to who i think was Kaitlyn before and she wanted my boobs. she is very odd. Very very odd. So yup. I hope to never meet her. Ever. It would emotionally scar me. But i still wanna see SP so it is confusing. I dunno really. I hope it doesn't happen. To keep me happy.
And well, that be all on the guy front. I could go into the "I'm playing nice with a EEB-wanting whore" and "I'm borrowing my beloved stuff to a person who bitches me to some posh whores" but i could go on all day. So i may just ramble on about how when Mateusz was in yesterday, we followed him. Me, Helen, Georgi, Becky and Amy. And he knew we were there. Like he had a "girls-who-love-him" sensor. maybe he does. Or maybe, though its not possible ever, he thinks i'm uber cool with chocolate on top and lurves me to bits and wants to marry me and have my half polish, a quarter english, a eighth welsh and a eighth irish babies called....well polish names. but coz its impossible, he just knows i like him. Oh well. It was fun. And i nearly walked mouth to mouth with him. I wish i had. I really really do. That would of made me happy.
Well, i'm gonna stop ranting now. Because if i don't i'll have to go stare at the pics of Mateusz sleeping again, which i might anyway.
Night people.
Angeloflight94 xxx
Current Mood: MEH Current Music: none January 24th, 200905:38 pm: Can My Life Get Worse?....Yes Apparently It Can
If you know me as a person, like from school or something, you probably don't know i have this inability to say 'no' to someone of the male race if they are single/hot/sweet/ irresistable. That's probably coz i can say no to my mates whenever i want, it doesn't stop me. Heck, if i really needed to i could sing 'no' at them for hours on end. But that's not why i'm writing this blog. I be writing this blog because the male race confuse me beyond the universe itself.
This week ALONE i have be asked out 4 times, proposed to twice(just...don't ask), fell in love with a polish boy(well not in love but as a member of the EEB club i have a unhealthy obsession with him and his name) and i've started thinking maybe i doubted the guy from my last blog's feelings completely.
I don't know why this all decided to happen. I don't know why Terry asked me out, or Rhys, or John, or Jordon. They just did. And because i couldn't say no, as they are all so nice and everything i now am a serial cheater. Great. My reputation was good enough ALREADY wasn't it? Then, today to be exact, Daniel proposed. I have no idea in the foggiest storm why he did, but he did. He had a nervy spazz about it and everything. Yet again, i couldn't say no. Dan is so nice, so my heart wouldn't let me. It would really help if i didn't have 4 other boyfriends, 1 other fiancee (urgh i hate anything referring to marriage BLEH, and thats coz Jordon proposed too) and a friend who could be more than a friend.
Can my life get any worse?
Find out in my next blog, coz i have a feeling it probably can.
Current Mood: BLEH Current Music: mcr January 18th, 200901:31 pm: Staying Unexistant Might Help My Cause
Maybe, if i just stay unexistant, I'll get over him. It makes perfect sense really. Well ok, it makes no sense so that's probably why it makes sense to me. If i stay unexistant, he won't need to feel anything back. HA! Like he ever would feel anything back. He probably hates me. Maybe he should hate me. Maybe it would make more sense for him to hate me.
I'm very easily hateable, so i normally ignore guys' claims that i'm so easy to like, to love, to give a crap about. I vote everyone should hate me. It might make no sense to anyone i know, but they should. If all guys hated me, I probably wouldn't fall so easily for them. But if he hated me, I dunno what i'd do. Probably cry. Though i know some people who think its impossible for me to feel any emotion. They will probably laugh if they knew i could cry.
Current Mood:  angry Current Music: none 12:42 pm: Its Been along Time Since I Blogged Here...
After reading one of my best friend's blogs on here, as he constantly is updating, i decided i might as well update myself on what has happen since July 08. I mean, if you think about it, for all you know i'm dead. Or near enough it. So, here's an update of all the things that have happened since July, which is kinda alot.
July 08
Back with Tom, as i said in the other blog, but still loving someone who i'm blatantly unexistant to. Though i told Tom i loved him constantly, i never meant it. not after i found the someone. I don't think i'll be able to love anyone like that again.
August 08
Breaking Dawn was finally out. Took me 6 hours to read it. I loved it, it made me smile. And i mean properly, it had been ages since I'd done that. Went to Ireland-o, saw my relatives. Dumped Tom, couldn't put up with lying to him. It hurt to think he would be the one to mean it that time so I left him. Went out with mates barely. I just liked sitting around reading, drawing. I didn't want reality to exist anymore. I just wanted to live in fantasy forever.
September 08
My younger brothers' birthdays. Got with my mate's ex. Serious relationship this time, not a bit of a fling. Still didn't love him in the same way i loved the someone but i felt safer in a relationship than out of it. New school year too. Now a silver tie, scary. Still hated VK and started to hate JP too. Went out with Cameron twice....We ALL know what happened after that.
October 08
The one year anniversairy. Urgh, it was crap. Saw Cameron on the first and hit him alot. I was bored. Nothing interesting really happened until Halloween at Katy's. I broke my camera ='[ but we had a right laugh that night, didn't get to sleep till about 4 in the morning.
November 08
Still, not much happened. If it did, i apoligise i can not remember at all. All i remember is, it was November. VK's, VR's and JP's birthdays. I think we saw HSM3:senior year as well. That might have been October, i dunno, i don't REMEMBER!!
December 08
Still not much happened, i had a account on a site where i could read and write stories. Got quite a few good comments from peoples. Joined a roleplay site for twilight coz i was asked to be Esme. Yeah right, I could be a mother to people older than me. Met a guy who seemed like a cool guy, but i really didn't know, he could of been a jerk. Met Jassie and Kayy, two of my new bezzies. I love them both to bits. They rock more than socks off, they rock pants off.
January 09 so far
Sucked. Been dumped: 4 times, how many guys dated: 4, how many times i felt dumb: 1,000,000. Tsu, the 'cool guy' dumped me for a scheming bitch called Erin, we then got back together, then he dumped me again, got back together, i dumped him. Kay dumped me coz he thought it wouldn't work. Yes, i know, that means I have 2 relationships at the moment of time. Yes, i do. One long-distance. One normal. Neither the guy who i am completely unexistant too, even when i say i love him and say i mean it.
I'll update soon, bye for now.
Current Mood:  confused Current Music: MCR July 13th, 200803:33 pm: End of key stage 3
As of yesterday, I got back with Tom. I don't know why i did but i did.
I did still love him so i'm going to go and blame it on that. I also lost a bet in which i would of won five quids. I've now lost the quids. Also the school year is nearly over, the end of year nine and the beginning of year ten. I hope this year won't suck as bad as the last. Coz if it does i'll totally have to kick some ass. I can;t wait till the New York trip next year or the xmas Roxy. Also also, i am sad to say i now have a new cousin (a boy called Keenan) and my cousin Kelly is expecting. I fear this year will turn worse.
Love, from the mad writer,
Angeloflight94Current Mood:  optimistic
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